February 07, 2011
Christina Aguilera Fucks Up The National Anthem
I know I couldn't be the only person who didn't notice Christina fucked up the lyrics until after the fact. Even though I didn't have any money on it, I was more concerned with timing how long she would hold the word "brave" at the end.
What I did notice was that she did a poor job of singing the anthem overall. She was trying waaaaay too hard, and she over sang a bunch of parts. Other than the fact she held "brave" for about 10 seconds, that was the big them I noticed initially until I hit Twitter.
Hmmm, what are the chances she fucked up because she knew someone she knew had money on how long she'd hold brave, and she got all up in her head about it and confused? It's a possibility, if you ask me.
Oh well, even thought E! is reporting Christina was "visibly upset" and immediately left Dallas, I'm still looking forward to the SNL skit, and all the other parodies that are sure to follow.
The Green Bay Packers Are Your Super Bowl XLV Champions
At the end of the day, the "Brett Favre shit sundae" factor (the worst way a horrible year could end for Brett would be with his replacement in Green Bay winning a Super Bowl) proved to be too strong. I knew that factor loomed since I listened to Kevin Hench bring it up on Adam Carolla's podcast last Friday, but I chose to ignore it. My bad.
Another factor I chose to ignore was the "Dave Dameshek at a Steelers game" factor. On Friday night I finally decided to listen to episode LXI of Daves Of Thunder and at the beginning Jacuzzi Pete said Dave Dameshek would be out next week because he was on assignment at the Super Bowl. On a recent episode of DOT, Dameshek was talking about how the Steelers always lose when he goes to their games (the 2004 AFC Championship game in their 15-1 season being one of them). For whatever reason I chose to ignore that as well. My bad.
BUT let me not get too caught up in these "factors," and ignore the fact that the Steelers played an awful game. I'm amazed they even had a shot at the end after how bad they played. I give Green Bay credit for sealing the deal, but they let a team hang around after turning the ball over 3 times. That's unacceptable. Great teams would've demolished the Steelers the way they played Sunday. I'm not trying to take anything away from them, but the win wasn't that impressive. Aaron Rodgers was impressive, but the Packers weren't as a team. Oh well, a win is a win.
The last thing I wanted to talk about is Green Bay being called "Titletown." Every single year I have to hear idiots talk about how the Dallas Cowboys are no longer America's Team, but nobody ever challenges Green Bay being called Titletown. Why? Last night gave Green Bay its 4th Super Bowl victory, there's 3 teams with more titles than them (Cowboys, 49ers, and Steelers)! We all know the Cowboys have the biggest fan base, so I don't know why we can't continue being America's Team unchallenged if Green Bay can be Titletown with less Super Bowls than 3 teams.
And last, but not least, doesn't it look like Clay Matthews is telling Aaron Rodgers to smell his finger in this picture?
February 06, 2011
NFL Winners & Losers: Super Bowl XLV
10. The Steelers will be wearing their white jerseys.
Okay, I admit this one is a bit of a reach, but in Super Bowls XL and XLIII the Steelers wore their road white jerseys, and both times they won. I don't know what it is about these NFC stadiums the Steelers love so much, but if it works, it works. Just putting it out there.
9. Skinny coach vs. fat coach.
Skinny coaches win Super Bowls. It wasn't always this way, but in recent years the slimmer coach has held the Lombardi Trophy in the end. I don't know if it's America's new found interest in fitness and health, but these skinny guys just keep on winning. Check it out:
SB XLIV: Sean Payton over Jim Caldwell
SB XLIII: Mike Tomlin over Ken Whisenhunt
SB XLII: Tom Coughlin over Bill Belichick
SB XLI: Tony Dungy over Lovie Smith
SB XL: Bill Cowher over Mike Holmgren
SB XXXIX: Belichick over Andy Reid
Hey don't blame me, it's just good science.
(Side note: Yes, I realize Mike Tomlin and Ken Whisenhunt are about the same size, but regardless, neither is fat, so it still proves my point.)
8. Former Cowboys are back for revenge.
I realize Erik Walden was drafted by Dallas in 2008, but he didn't make the team and he was never even on our practice squad, so he doesn't count. The guys I'm talking about now suit up in black and yellow. That's right, Flozell Adams and Shaun Suisham.
Flozell Adams was a Cowboy for 12 seasons, got cut in the offseason, and karma has brought him back to Dallas with a new team for a chance to win a Super Bowl. As deep as Adams' roots are with Dallas, Shaun Suisham may have an even bigger chip on his shoulder when it comes to the Cowboys. Dallas didn't let him go once, they didn't let him twice, they let him go 3 separate times! Now he also has a chance to come back and haunt Cowboys Stadium. It would only make sense if they made it this far and won.
7. People tried to make a big deal out of Ben Roethlisberger taking his linemen to a piano bar.
I guess with all the in-house controversies the Packers heaped on themselves since the NFC Championship game someone thought they could turn this into a distraction for the Steelers. Unfortunately, the people who attempted to blow this out of proportion didn't have much to work with. Ben was at a piano bar, not a night club or strip club (and even if he was, last time I checked, that wasn't illegal). He took his linemen with him, he wasn't out partying and
That story was like an anti-distraction. Score another one for the Steel Town.
6. It took the Packers 2 days to realize all their players should be in the team photo.
When I first heard that the Packers weren't going to let their players on injured reserve be in their Super Bowl picture, I knew they were going to lose. It's really not about the picture, it's about not being able to handle the moment.
This is how the conversation should have gone:
Packers exec 1: Should we let the IR guys in the Super Bowl team photo?
Packers exec 2: Of course, why wouldn't we? After all they are apart of the team.
The end.
Sadly that didn't happen, and this served as a pointless distraction that could've easily been avoided with common sense.
5. Aaron Rodgers questioned the rehab choices of guys on IR.
I like Aaron Rodgers and all, but why would he do this to his team? You're about to play in the Super Bowl and you're calling out your own teammates in the media over something that doesn't have anything to do with the big game? Really, that's your approach?
Rodgers supposedly patched it up with his guys, but it's the pointless distractions like this that make or break a team. This made me almost positive it would break the Pack.
4. The Packers are the favorites in Vegas.
The spread opened at -2.5 points in favor of the Packers almost immediately after the Steelers beat the Jets in the AFC Championship game, and hasn't changed since (OK, it did go to -3 at some point, but it's back at -2.5, so you get what I'm saying). But based on what? The Packers barely hung on against Caleb Hanie just hours earlier, and now they're 2.5 point favorites over the #1 defense in the NFL? Alright then.
3. Steelers have all the Super Bowl experience.
While the majority of the Steelers' team has Super Bowl experience, including 14 players who were around for both recent Steelers Super Bowl wins, only 3 Packers can say the same. Charles Woodson played for the Raiders in Super Bowl XXXVII, Ryan Pickett played for the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI, and John Kuhn (the only Packers player with a Super Bowl ring) was on the Steelers practice squad when they won Super Bowl XL.
Of course, none of this stopped the inexperienced Giants from beating the Patriots in Super Bowl XLII. Then again, the Steelers are the underdogs here despite all of their big game experience, unlike the 2007 Pats.
2. Ben wins.
You can say whatever you want about Ben Roethlisberger's private life, but the fact that he's a winner is undeniable. Even when Ben struggled mightily in Super Bowl XL, the refs made sure he won. Like I said, Ben wins. The guy is 10-2 in the playoffs, and half of those losses came in his rookie season in 2004 when the Steelers loss to the eventual Super Bowl winning Patriots in the AFC Championship game.
1. Everyone thinks Packers gonna win.
I tried not to watch too much Super Bowl coverage these past 2 weeks, but from everything I did see, everybody and their momma thinks the Packers are going to win. From what I've seen and heard, I'd say the public is about 80-20 in favor of the Pack. That's never a good thing, especially when you factor in the 9 other reasons I gave above.
Just in these playoffs alone, every heavy favorite in the public has loss (See: Seahawks over Saints, Jets over Colts, and Jets over Pats). The last thing the Pack should've hoped for is overwhelming public support, and that's just what they got.
Bonus Reason: Lil Wayne made Green & Yellow.
After giving it some thought, I've decided to add Lil Wayne's Green & Yellow as a reason Green Bay won't win Super Bowl XLV. At the end of the day, it will prove to be too wack and corny to overcome.
Tom Brady Wins MVP
SOURCE
Random News Shit: Super Weekend Headlines Edition
Rightfully so, if only for Prime landing that fine ass Pilar. Bagging her his worth a HoF spot alone. Damn, she's fine!
2) Vick Wins Comeback Player Of The Year
Good, gotta give my man Vick something since his offensive line practically single-handedly eliminated him from the MVP race.
3) Santana Moss To Be A Free Agent
Similarly to Nnamdi Asomugha, Moss' contract will be void soon, and the 31 year-old will become a free agent. Honestly, I don't give a shit where he lands, I'm just happy he won't be in Washington because he used to kill us all the time.
4) Cops Stop Phil Simms From Attacking Desmond Howard
Can I put money on this fight in Vegas? I like Desmond Howard to win, and I like him to win big!
Seriously though, what the hell is wrong with Phil Simms? This fool is trying to go from CBS to CB4. He better sit his old white ass down somewhere before he throws out his back or some shit.
5) "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club" Guy To Miss The Super Bowl
Robert Cook from Visa's "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club" ads has been in the hospital since Thursday, and will indeed miss Super Bowl XLV. And what makes matters worse is that Cook is a Packers fan. Yep, so not only will he miss a Super Bowl, but he'll miss one that his own team is in. I'd say that's worse. Oh well, there's always the "Never Miss A Super Bowl Except That Time My Team Played In It Club." Besides, he could've died and missed a Super Bowl that way, so Cook should consider himself lucky. He'll feel a lot better about missing this game after his team loses tonight.
Speaking of the "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club," what's with that one guy Larry Jacobson? Can he see, or what? You know the guy I'm talking about too, but in case you want to play dumb, check him out here.
Yeah, him. Is the nigga blind or not? Personally, I think he is blind and his kids takes his tickets every year and drop him off somewhere so he thinks he's actually there. I mean, no need to waste perfectly good Super Bowl tickets on a dude who can't even see the game, right? Right!
Random News Shit: Hip-Hop Headlines Edition
Looks like Wale is pulling a LeBron and taking his talents to South Beach to be on Rick Ross' Maybach Music Group. (Damn, that joke is fucked out now. I'm putting the world on notice right now, let that be the last time anybody does a "taking his talents to South Beach" joke. Thank you.) Good for Wale, looks like he's gonna get to drop that second album after all.
2) Big Boi 6 Tracks Deep Into New Album
When I first heard this I got excited... then I remembered how long it took for Sir Lucious Left Foot to come out and I got depressed. Welp hopefully we get this new one by 2013.
(Side note: What the hell is Andre doing??)
3) Funkmaster Flex Arrested & Released
That chick's story sounds kinda fishy, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to do a parody of this infamous Funk Flex video of him talking about R. Kelly. I'm seriously considering it. Seriously.
Random News Shit: NBA Headlines Edition
The 3-teamer that would land Melo in New York is the Knicks sending Anthony Randolph and Eddy Curry to Minnesota, Minnesota sending Corey Brewer and a first-round pick to Denver, and Denver receiving Wilson Chandler from New York. Whatever, can we just finally get this nigga traded? I am so tired of hearing about this shit. It's the odds on favorite for Lamest Sports Story of 2011 and we're only 1 month and a few days in.
2) Cavs Drop 24th Straight Game; Make History
With their loss to the Blazers last night, the Cavaliers broke the NBA record for consecutive losses in a single season, breaking the 97-98 Nuggets record of 23. Next up on the schedule: the Dallas Mavericks.
I'm not gonna lie, I do feel kinda bad for the Cavs, but I still have no sympathy for the city of Cleveland or its fans. Either way, the Cavs falling like a rock are more reason LeBron should win MVP again than anything he's doing on the court right now.
3) LeBron & Randolph Win Player Of The Month For January
LeBron averaged 30.6 points, 8.4 rebounds, 7.4 assists, and 1.75 steals per game last month, and Zach Randolph averaged 22.4 points and 14.2 rebounds per game. Randolph also lead the Grizzlies to 11 wins in January and set a franchise record with a career-high 14 consecutive double-doubles.
This is LeBron James' 2nd Player of The Month award this season, but for some reason there's 2 or 3 guys who get mentioned before him in the MVP race. Not sure how that works, but okay.
February 05, 2011
Why???: Trent Williams' $150K Gorilla Chain
If you're not familiar with Trent Williams, he was a stand out offensive lineman at Oklahoma and the 4th overall pick in the NFL draft last season. Anyway, with the NFL lockout on the horizon, here's what Trent decided to spend his money on. Awesome.
My first thought when I saw this was "Damn, that chain is ugly as fuck." My 2nd thought was "They should've never gave you niggas money!" My 3rd and final thought was about Sam Bradford. Yes, #1 pick in the 2010 Draft, highest paid player from the 2010 Draft, offensive rookie of the year, and former teammate of Williams' at Oklahoma, Sam Bradford. I thought back to the interview NBC ran right before the Week 17 Rams-Seahawks game. In that interview Al Michaels asked Bradford what was his biggest purchase since becoming a multi-millionaire. His answer: a ping-pong table. Not a car, not a mansion, not a $150,000 gorilla chain, a ping-pong table.
Of course since that interview aired Bradford could've gone out and bought a bunch of junk he doesn't need (or had a briefcase of cocaine brought to his home and went on 36 hour drug bender with pornstars), but something tells me he didn't. And it's not a black or white thing, it's a mentality thing. Bradford's mentality isn't to blow through his cash buying all the things he's ever dreamed of. Yes, Bradford probably comes from a more well off family than Williams does, and doesn't have the burden of family members coming out of the woodwork asking for seed money for record labels and down payments on cars, but that even more reason Williams shouldn't blow money so unwisely.
Think about it, if you're some kin to Williams, and you saw he bought $150,000 worth of depreciating junk, wouldn't you feel more comfortable asking him for money? Spending that much money on something as useless as a diamond encrusted gorilla chain screams "I got money and I'm ready to give it away" to greedy, opportunistic family members. Buying a ping-pong table screams "I'm not interested in giving away my money."
Now, I'm not saying Trent Williams is a bad kid, hell for all I know he could own a portion of the company who made his chain. All I'm saying is that in a world of uncertainties and in a league that's unpromised (lockout pending, no guaranteed contracts), Williams is doing himself an injustice by buying this chain.
...Oh, and also that that chain is ugly as fuck.
February 04, 2011
Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition
This might be the best decision David Stern has made since...uhhh, since...well, maybe ever.
Oh well, good. Now I don't have to keep my fingers crossed that Mark Cuban would forced Dirk to opt out of the game. However, this doesn't forgive the fact that the 32 coaches in the NBA got it wrong by taking Blake Griffin and Tim Duncan over Love, but it's a nice place to start.
2) Sam Bradford Wins Offensive ROY Award
Rightfully so. I think Dez Bryant would've had a good shot if Romo didn't get hurt, and he didn't ultimately end up getting hurt, but there was really no other choice for this one but Bradford.
3) Ndamukong Suh Wins Defensive ROY Award
It would've been a travesty even surpassing Kevin Love's All-Star snub if Ndamukong (aka Chaos N. Suh) didn't win DROY.
4) Gilbert Arenas Served Court Papers At Halftime
No wonder Gilbert Arenas was a virtual no show in that Heat-Magic game Thursday night, the man was served with child support and custody papers as he left the court at halftime. Apparently his BM isn't satisfied with the $20,000 a month she's getting, and want it increased to $100,000. These bitches are crazy!
I guess this is what Gilbert gets for fucking this lousy bitch, but if you and a child can't survive off $20,000 a month, you're basic as fuck. Oh well, you can't blame her, she's just playing the oldest game in the book.
5) Albert Haynesworth Accused In Road Rage Incident
If it's true that Albert punched dude and that's what finally gets him released from the Redskins I bet he's gonna be pissed! No, not because he got released, but because he didn't think to do this sooner.
Yes Man
Damn, it took them long enough to put this joint out. This was the same day as that Billy Blue video shoot back in June when they also did this skit.
Oh well, I laughed so it don't really matter. I can't wait until we get the next skit from that day 6 or 7 months from now.
NBA All-Star Reserves Announced; Kevin Love Snubbed
Well, here's who did make the All-Star teams: On the East there's Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen, Joe Johnson, Al Horford, and Chris Bosh. Out West there's Russell Westbrook, Dirk Nowitzki, Pau Gasol, Deron Williams, Manu Ginobili, Blake Griffin, and Tim Duncan.
Seriously though, Tim Duncan?? Like Chris Webber said last week, this isn't a lifetime achievement award, it's the All-Star game. If we're gonna throw Tim Duncan on the squad, why not put Steve Nash on over Russell Westbrook or Deron Williams?
But even if you're gonna give Timmy a lifetime achievement award, why is Blake Griffin on the team over Kevin Love?? Don't get me wrong, Blake is having a wonderful rookie season, but if he couldn't dunk, would he still make this team over Love? I don't think so. Again, I don't want to take anything away from Blake, I actually think both he and Love should've made the team, but if it came down to the 2, you've got to take Big Love.
Hopefully David Stern will do the right thing and choose Love to replace Yao Ming on the team, but Yahoo! Sports' Adrian Wojnarowski was told Steve Nash is a "strong favorite" for that spot. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Kevin Love wasn't the only snub though, here's a list of some of the bigger snubs: LaMarcus Aldridge (21.3 ppg, 9 rpg), Monta Ellis (25.1 ppg, 5.6 apg, 2.3 spg), Eric Gordon (24.1 ppg, 4.5 apg), Kevin Martin (23.1 ppg, 41% from 3), Zach Randolph (20 ppg, 13.2 rpg), Lamar Odom (15.4 ppg, 9.6 rpg, 57% from the field), Raymond Felton (17.1 ppg, 8.9 apg), Andrea Bargnani (20.9 ppg, 5.5 apg), and Luis Scola (19.3 ppg, 8.5 rpg).
SOURCE
February 03, 2011
Truth: Ladies, The Sexual Double Standards Protect You!
Amazing, amazing, amazing stuff. I couldn't have said it better myself. James Hannah, you sir are a Man Of Respect. Welcome to the club.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
