1) Vikings (1-2) @ Jets (3-1)
Wow, where do I even start with this one?? The NFL sacks Jared Allen's sack celebration, Randy Moss returns to Minnesota, oh yeah and then there's the matter of Brett Favre becoming the latest pro athlete to have nude pics exposed. All that and I haven't even mentioned the loudest team in the league. Wild!
Obviously Randy Moss is going to make a significant impact for the Vikings at some point, but it won't come this week. The Jets already have plenty DBs to keep the Vikings weak WR corp at bay, so Darrelle Revis returning will only make the night longer for The Old Dongslinger (as Jason Whitlock is now calling him). On offense, Mark Sanchez finally has his full compliment of weapons with Santonio Holmes coming back. I just think it's gonna be too much for the Vikes to overcome. Jets winners, Vikings losers.
(Side note: So ESPN, FOXSports, and all these other sports news outlets are just gonna act like this whole Brett Favre nude pic thing isn't happening?? This isn't like Delonte West allegedly plunging LeBron James' mother, there's actual photos (plural) out on the internet right now (which of course I haven't seen). It'd be one thing if somebody hacked his computer or cell phone, but the pics were sent to some bimbo in the Jets organization. A possible divorce can holt the greatest golfer in the world, but they're all gonna act like this will have no effect on Favre, his family, and his game?? Again, this is not speculation, DeadSpin definitely posted those pics earlier.)
(Side side note: I wonder if the New York Jets are actually behind this?? I mean, doesn't it seem like an odd time for this all to be coming back around?? Plus, it's not like the Jets have the reputation for being the classiest team around. I'm just saying.)
2) Titans (2-2) @ Cowboys (1-2)
Finally, the return of Cowboys football to my life! Even though our bye week was a huge success (Philly and Washington beat each other up + we got healthy) I'm ready to see my 'Boys back in action.
I'm not gonna lie, the Titans scare me. Vince Young is good and all, but I'm terrified of Chris Johnson. I could use a bunch of clichés and kiss CJ's ass, but we all know the skills dude brings to the table.
The good news is that Wade Phillips has had 2 weeks to prepare for CJ, so I kinda like our chances. Also, in the Wade era, we're undefeated coming off our bye. Cowboys winners, Titans losers.
3) Chiefs (3-0) @ Colts (2-2)
When the Bears lost last Sunday night, I was so disappointed. No, not because I started Jay Cutler and Johnny Knox on my fantasy team (they combined for a whopping -3 points), but because I knew all week we'd have to constantly hear NFL "analysts" blabbing about how crazy it is that the Chiefs are the last undefeated team. Sadly, that's exactly what happened.
Thank goodness for the blockbuster Randy Moss though, it gave us a break from it, but I'm sure it'll be back on football Friday and Sunday morning.
Anyway, how could anybody root for the Chiefs?? I could never cheer on a team with a guy like Shaun "Genital Giant" Smith grabbing and pulling at dude's twigs and berries after tackles. That type of shit makes me wanna go into full Tim Hardaway mode, but I won't do it. The shit is gross though.
Okay, let's cut to the chase here, the Colts will NOT lose this game. Indy loss another DB, but there's just no way Matt Cassel is gonna be able to keep up with Peyton Manning at home. Colts winners, Chiefs losers.
4) Packers (3-1) @ Redskins (2-2)
Unless the Redskins are gonna knock Aaron Rodgers out of the game in the first quarter like they did Mike Vick, I don't see them having much of a shot. Packers winners, Redskins losers.
5) Giants (2-2) @ Texans (3-1)
Don't let last week fool you, the Giants still aren't that good, and the Texans will prove that Sunday. Texans winners, Giants losers.
6) Broncos (2-2) @ Ravens (3-1)
I think the Joe Flacco's slaying of the Steelers' incredible defense is just the confidence boost he needed to take his game to the next level. I'm not saying he wasn't good prior to last Sunday's win, but after you tame the type of beast he did, somehow a team like the Broncos don't seem all that intimidating.
I know the Broncos want revenged against the Ravens for exposing them as frauds last year (and triggering their 2-8 finish), but they won't get it Sunday. Ravens winners, Broncos losers.
7) Buccaneers (2-1) @ Bengals (2-2)
Well if there was any constellation prize for the Bengals after last week's loss to the Browns, it's the fact that Carson Palmer didn't suck his usual suck. Of course you don't want him throwing the ball 36 times, but at least he didn't stink up the joint like he's done in weeks past.
As far as the Bucs go, they've had 2 weeks to prepare for this Bengals team, so don't expect the score to get too out of hand. I still don't like them to win it, but at least it should be a close game. Bengals winners, Bucs losers.
8) Falcons (3-1) @ Browns (1-3)
I like the Falcons, but as we saw last week, the Brownies are no pushovers. They play tough on both sides of the ball now, and haven't really been out of any of their games thus far.
But with that being said, these are the Browns, and as long as Matt Ryan doesn't throw anymore bad picks within the last 2 minutes of the game, they should be fine. Falcons winners, Browns losers.
9) Saints (3-1) @ Cardinals (2-2)
Max Hall will be the Cards' starter Sunday, which begs the question: How bad was Matt Leinart that he lost his job to Derek Anderson?? I mean, Derek Anderson is clearly terrible, so what does that make Leinart?? Terrible x2?? Terrible²??
Oh well, it really doesn't matter who the Cards start at QB, they're a bad team right now and will help mask the Saints' issues for another week. Saints winners, Cardinals losers.
10) Chargers (2-2) @ Raiders (1-3)
This definitely won't be a gimme game for the Chargers, even though we've made it through the first quarter of the season.
Don't get me wrong though, the Raiders aren't gonna win this game, I'm just saying it won't be an all out rape-a-thon like San Diego's game against Arizona. Chargers winners, Raiders losers.
11) Eagles (2-2) @ 49ers (0-4)
I know whoever decides which games get shown on Sunday night for NBC wishes they could have this one back. Especially after that all-time bad suck bowl last week. This game is like the anti-Vikings-Jets. There's literally no star power or story lines, and therefore should be deemed unfit to be nationally televised.
Unfortunately, my mini campaign against this game doesn't mean much.
Okay, so somebody has to win this game. Will it be Alex "Huh? What Was The Play?" Smith or Kevin "5 Yards At A Time" Kolb?? I say the 49ers have to win eventually, and this matchup sets up too perfectly in their favor (no Mike Vick, LeSean McCoy, or Asante Samuel) to not pick them. 49ers winners, Eagles losers.
12) Bears (3-1) @ Panthers (0-4)
Boy, that carriage turned back to a pumpkin fast for the Bears, ain't it?? After riding high off 3 lucky wins, they got lambasted by a not-so-good Giants teams this past Sunday night. Now Jay Cutler is out completely and will be replaced by Todd Collins. Yeah, I'd say their luck has run dry.
Or has it?? They get Carolina this weekend for the Julius Peppers Bowl (unfortunately no Donovan McNabb-esque "will they cheer or will they boo" headlines surrounding this return), so as much as I want to pick against them, I can't. Besides, Steve Smith is out, and Jimmy Clausen is in, and that makes containing DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart all the more easy. I say Julius and the boy make Carolina pay for not paying him. Bears winners, Panthers losers.
13) Rams (2-2) @ Lions (0-4)
How about Sam Bradford and the Rams?? The Rams haven't been .500 this "late" into the season since 2006. I'd be lying if I said I saw this on the horizon before the season (though I did pick them to win each of their past 2 games).
The Lions have also been quite impressive with the fight they've shown through 4 game, they've just run into some good teams at the wrong time. Like the 49ers, the Lions are gonna break through eventually, and I say there's no better time than now for the Shaun Hill-led Lions to get their first official win. Lions winners, Rams losers.
14) Jaguars (2-2) @ Bills (0-4)
So far the Bills have played 3 divisional games, and 1 against the NFC favorite Packers, so is it possible they aren't really this bad?? I mean, they did hang in their in 2 of their 4 games. For that reason, and that reason only, I'm gonna give the Bills a fighting chance Sunday. Do I think they can win though?? No. But it won't be a blowout either. Jags winners, Bills losers.
This Week: 7-7 (.500)
Overall Record: 44-32 (.579)
Last Week: 8-6 (.571)
