1) Colts (6-3) @ Patriots (7-2)
The Colts are obviously coming into New England way unmanned, but at least Peyton Manning will have the benefit of an offensive line to protect him, unlike Ben Roethlisberger. I say the Patriots control the game until the last possession, and Indy sneaks off with a win. Colts winners, Pats losers.
2) Giants (6-3) @ Eagles (6-3)
How about those Giants?? Welp, look forward to seeing a lot more confused sports commentators Monday because the G-Men are headed for another loss. If they couldn't handle Jon Kitna, what chance do they stand against Michael Vick?? Exxxxxactly. Eagles winners, Giants losers.
3) Packers (6-3) @ Vikings (3-6)
How appropriate is it that Aaron Rodgers and the Packers could possibly be the last team Brett Favre plays in his career? Yeah, I know there's 6 more games left after this one, but there's a strong possibility Clay Matthews detaches an appendage from Favre's body. It could happen.
Oh well, let's stick with things that will happen for now, like the Packers winning. Packers winners, Vikings losers.
4) Raiders (5-4) @ Steelers (6-3)
The Steelers are falling like flies right now. Maybe Ben Roethlisberger should've got some of his teammates to join in with the rape so they could've gotten the first 4 games off too. Steelers winners, Raiders losers.
5) Texans (4-5) @ Jets (7-2)
Losses don't get any tougher than the ones the Texans were handed last week when a batted down hail mary pass turned into a game winner touchdown (Why did I just say that as if you haven't seen the play?? My bad). I think that was the final blow to their playoff chances, and the Jets will put them out of their misery Sunday. Jets winners, Texans losers.
6) Broncos (3-6) @ Chargers (4-5)
The #1 team in passing yards (Chargers) vs. the #2 team in passing yards (Broncos), the defenses might as well stay home. It would be funny as shit if this turned out to be a low scoring defensive struggle though. Fortunately it won't. Chargers winners, Broncos losers.
7) Redskins (4-5) @ Titans (5-4)
I don't think the Redskins will lose by 31 again, but I also don't think they'll go on the road and win after losing by 31. I told you they weren't that good. Titans winners, Redskins losers.
8) Falcons (7-2) @ Rams (4-5)
The Rams are good at home, but the Falcons are flying a bit too high for them right now. Falcons winners, Rams losers.
9) Bears (6-3) @ Dolphins (5-4)
Man, the Dolphins were going through quarterbacks last week like Detox goes through release dates. That now leaves them with Tyler Thigpen starting, which actually might not be the worse thing that could've happened. We know Chad Pennington wasn't the answer, and Chad Henne needs to get his confidence back after being benched, so Thigpen is probably their best option right now, regardless of the injuries.
Oh well, it doesn't really matter because there's no way I'd take the road team on one of these shorts weeks unless they're were vastly better than the home team. The Bears aren't. Dolphins winners, Bears losers.
10) Browns (3-6) @ Jaguars (5-4)
I felt bad for the Browns when they lost last week...then I read this story about a grown fuckin' man from Cleveland tackling an 8 year-old child because he was wearing a New York Jets jersey. Oh yeah, that's why I didn't feel bad for Cleveland when LeBron, they're fans are douches. I mean seriously, an 8 year-old?? What, were all the cute kittens preoccupied??
Welp, I guess it's only a matter of time before this becomes LeBron's fault. Jaguars winners, fuck Cleveland fans.
11) Lions (2-7) @ Cowboys (2-7)
Who was that team playing in the white jerseys in New York last week?? That couldn't have been my Dallas Cowboys. No way.
Well whoever they were, I hope they come back to play again. Cowboys winners, Lions losers.
12) Buccaneers (6-3) @ 49ers (3-6)
How about that Troy Smith?? Two starts, two wins. I'm assuming no one will be chanting for David Carr this Sunday.
Unfortunately for the Niners, the Buccaneers have only lost to the likes of the Steelers, Saints, and Falcons. Bucs winners, 49ers losers.
13) Bills (1-8) @ Bengals (2-7)
The Bills finally got that elusive first win last week, and now I think it's time for the Bengals to get that elusive third win. Bengals winners, Bills losers.
14) Seahawks (5-4) @ Saints (6-3)
I think this is gonna be a Saints blow out. Reggie Bush is coming back, they're coming off a week of rest, and the week before that, they got a good win over the Steelers. Plus, it doesn't help that the Seahawks will be on the road again. And yeah, I know they burned me last week in Arizona, but I forgot to factor in how much the Cardinals suck. Saints winners, Seahawks losers.
15) Ravens (6-3) @ Panthers (1-8)
Less than 0% chance of an upset. Ravens winners, Panthers losers.
16) Cardinals (3-6) @ Chiefs (5-4)
The Cardinals suck. The end. Chiefs winners, Cardinals losers.
This Week: 12-4 (.750)
Overall Record: 94-66 (.586)
Last Week: 6-8 (.429)
