1) Texans (7-1) @ Bears (7-1)
This game should be a great game between 2 pretty evenly watched teams, and I like Houston to redeem themselves on national TV after that debacle against Green Bay in Week 6. Texans winners, Bears losers.
2) Falcons (8-0) @ Saints (3-5)
I'm always weary of game where everyone picks the underdog to win and I've heard too many people picking the Saints. Falcons winners, Saints losers.
3) Broncos (5-3) @ Panthers (2-6)
Don't ask me why, but this is my upset special for the week. I don't know. Panthers winners, Broncos losers.
4) Jets (3-5) @ Seahawks (5-4)
Antonio Cromartie said the Jets are gonna make the playoffs this year. I'm assuming he thinks they're going to bounce back from 3-6 and run the table because they are not beating Seattle in Seattle. Seahawks winners, Jets losers.
5) Bills (3-5) @ Patriots (5-3)
I really don't know what to say about this game besides that I definitely have New England winning it. Patriots winners, Bills losers.
6) Giants (6-3) @ Bengals (3-5)
Wasn't Cincinnati just over .500? Now they have the same shitty record as my Cowboys. Damn. Oh well, I expect that to get worse when the ol' fuck ass G-Men come to town. Giants winners, Bengals losers.
7) Lions (4-4) @ Vikings (5-4)
This divisional battle is simple: Detroit is trending up and Minnesota is trending down. Lions winners, Vikings losers.
8) Raiders (3-5) @ Ravens (6-2)
Man, what happened to the Raiders last week? They had only allowed 2 other running backs to rush for over 50 yards this whole season, then BOOM! Doug Martin explodes for 251. Of course Oakland got a few lucky breaks by not having to face Maurice Jones-Drew, Jamal Charles, Rashard Mendenhall, and Ryan Matthews (whether because they were hampered injury or coaching ineptitude), but still! Whatever, if the Ravens are smart, they rush Ray Rice 25-30 times and cruise to victory. Ravens winners, Raiders losers.
9) Chargers (4-4) @ Buccaneers (4-4)
News flash! Doug Martin hates his nickname "Muscle Hamster." Hmmm, I wonder why that is? Oh yeah, BECAUSE ITS A SHITTY NICKNAME! What the fuck does that even mean? If I was Martin, I'd react to people who called me Muscle Hammer the same way black people used to react when white people called them a nigga. Buccaneers winners, Chargers losers.
10) Rams (3-5) @ 49ers (6-2)
The Rams should be getting Danny Amendola back this week, so all won't be loss. 49ers winners, Rams losers.
11) Cowboys (3-5) @ Eagles (3-5)
On Monday, the awful Saints defense absolutely shredded the Eagles' offensive line, but you watch the Cowboys not get a hand on Michael Vick in this game. I still like the Cowboys to win, but it will only be because Philly will make one more stupid mistake than Dallas. I think. Cowboys winners, Eagles losers.
12) Titans (3-6) @ Dolphins (4-4)
The Dolphins have been fairly good against the run this season, so I'm not expecting much from Zombie Chris Johnson here. Dolphins winners, Titans losers.
13) Colts (5-3) @ Jaguars (1-7)
"Colts shave heads to support Pagano." That headline is all the information I need to pick this game. Colts winners, Jaguars losers.
14) Chiefs (1-7) @ Steelers (5-3)
Anybody got the Chiefs here? Thought not. Steelers winners, Chiefs losers.
This Week: 8-5-1 (.607)
Last Week: 12-2 (.857)
Season: 91-54-1 (.628)*
*Due to the Inaccurate Reception, these win/lose totals are fucked for the season.
