BUS DRIVER UPPERCUT PARODY

These hoes be actin up and I be uppercuttin em!

CANCELLATION FEES

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THE GAME REVEALS NEW ALBUM COVER

This nigga going to Hell like a muhfucka lol.

BILL SIMMONS AND JALEN ROSE JOIN NBA COUNTDOWN

I'm super excited about this.

DOWNLOAD THE REAL NIGGA SEXTAPE!

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October 14, 2008

Cowboys Acquire WR Roy Williams From Lions

A 1st, 3rd, and 6th round pick for Roy fuckin' Williams??? Come on Jerry, what the fuck are you doing?? Roy isn't a bad player, but how does this help us?? We're QB-less, punter-less, CB-less, and safety-less and the best you could do was bring on another fuckin' receiver?? Think Jerry, think! If T.O. is already complaining about not getting the ball enough while playing with Patrick Crayton and Miles Austin, how do you think he's gonna react by adding another WR to the mix?? Plus, one of the big reason Williams' wasn't happy with the Lions is BECAUSE HE WASN'T GETTING THE BALL ENOUGH! You only play football with one ball and I don't see how we just got any better by making this move. Oh, and did I mention TONY ROMO IS OUT FOR 4 WEEKS! Why are we bringing on more weapons for Romo when he can't even play??

Whatever, I just don't get this trade, especially with all the other shit we have going on like injuries to key players at key positions and a suspension to Pacman Jones. Not to mention we could've made a serious run at T.J. Houshmandzadeh this offseason, but only ended up giving up 3 draft picks for a lesser receiver. Last time we gave up a 1st round pick for a WR we got Joey Galloway. Do I even have to go into how bad of a deal that was??

On a brighter note, if Williams' is successful it might take some of the pressure off T.O. and maybe we won't so as many double and triple teams coming his direction. Who knows?? I'm trying to stay positive here.

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On Another Note For The Cowboys...

Looks like we're seriously considering a trade for Lions WR Roy Williams. We'd have to give up a 2nd and maybe 3rd round pick to get him, but honestly I don't see the point.

1) Its the middle of the season and he's gonna have to learn our playbook fast to help us out any...oh, and did I mention Romo was out??
2) We need help at other positions right now like CB.
3) T.J. Houshmandzadeh is a free agent at the end of the season and, in my opinion, a better receiver than Williams. Plus, Houshmandzadeh grew up a Cowboy fan so bringing him in this offseason shouldn't be too difficult.
4) We already have a played named Roy Williams and adding another would just be weird lol.

Anyway, the trade deadline is at 4pm so if we're gonna pull the trigger we don't have too much time to do so.

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Pacman Suspended At Least 4 Games

With all the players we've lost this season I almost forgot about Pacman's dumb ass getting into a fight with his own bodyguard last week. Today he was suspended indefinitely by dictator Goodell BUT he'll make his final decision on the length after our Nov. 16th game at the Redskins. That's at least 4 games right there meaning he won't even be around when Romo returns.

Dammit Pacman, you really fucked us this time! I'm talking sandpaper condom here! Hopefully we can get T-New back some time soon, but he just had surgery for his sports hernia so he probably won't be back until the last quarter of the season, if not the playoffs. Now all we have is 1-year CB Alan Ball and rookies Mike Jenkins and Orlando Scandrick.

Welp, I guess we'll have to wait and see if all this will make or break us. I doubt we'll "implode" like Usi Omenyiora said we would when he got his ass handed to him by Skip Bayless on 1st & 10 this morning (side note: First Take, please never have this nigga back, he's a terrible analyst and debater). I'm gonna stay positive and pray this all brings us character and not more division. Damn you Pacman, damn you!

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October 13, 2008

Just A Thought...

Now that the Giants got knocked off by the formerly 1-win Browns, (by 21 might I add) is the world coming to an end for them too?? I mean when the Cowboys lost to the 4-2 Redskins by 2, I was watching TV and thought we had got beaten by 50 because everyone was saying how bad we looked. Maybe the Giants will get the same treatment we did after getting straight tossed up tonight...but I doubt it.

On the bright side for the Giants, with this win by the Browns (...by 21!) the overall record of their competition is now 8-19 on the season instead of 7-20. Congratulations lol.

Welp, now its time to go to ho ass Matt Mosley's NFC East blog on ESPN.com to see what he has to say because so far he's had nothing lol. During the Cowboy's loss yesterday he was making a post per minute about everything we were doing wrong, but during this Giants' game all he posted was some shit called Knee-jerk Monday and another about Shaun Alexander possibly joining the Redskins. Who the fuck cares?? That dude is so lame now lol.

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The Injury Bug Is Biting The Fuck Out Of Us!

Man, Terence Newman, Kyle Kosier, Roy Williams, and Pat Watkins were already out...then Monday came and those guys are about to get a lot of company on the sideline. On top of Tony Romo's 4 weeks out, we also have punter Mat McBriar who will miss 6-8 weeks (if not the rest of the season) with a broken right foot, rookie RB Felix Jones out 2-4 with a strained hamstring, and WR Sam Hurd may miss the remainer of the season after re-injurying his high ankle sprain Sunday. That's not even mentioning hobbled players like Tank Johnson, Andre Gurode, Anthony Spencer, Flozell Adams, Keith Davis, and Deon Anderson.

Welp, we're really gonna see what we're made of these next few weeks, mainly in the 2 games following this upcoming game Sunday's at St. Louis when we face Tampa Bay and New York. If we can go 2-1 in that span before our week 10 bye week I think that's a win. Guys are really gonna have to buckle down and become a real team now so this is our season right here. I'm excited!

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BREAKING NEWS: Romo To Miss 4 Weeks With Broken Finger

Ain't this about a bitch?!?! After listening to all the "analyst" shit on us for losing to the 4-2 Cardinals on a first in NFL history fluke play like we got beat by the winless Rams (as the Redskins did) or taken to OT by the winless Bengals (as the Giants did) I leave the room for a second and come back to see Romo is out for 4 weeks! Madness! Fortunately we have Brad Johnson backing him up and not Matt Cassel (poor Pats lol). Thank goodness we have the Rams next week, but after that we have Tampa and New York so hopefully we can hang on and Romo can come back full strength after our bye week 10.

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October 12, 2008

Idiocracy 101: Monta Ellis Suspended 30 Games For Lying About Injury

Real shit, he got suspended 30 games...yes, thirty games, without pay. How retarded is this shit?? I dunno what the fuck Warriors' president Robert Rowell was on when he made this decision, but obviously he had forgotten that they lost Baron Davis in free agency over the offseason. What a fuckin' idiot! Why would you shoot your own team in the foot over some dumb shit like this?? Yeah he was wrong for being on the moped and he was wrong again for lying about it, but 30 games?? 5 games, 10 at the absolute most, or a big fine, but don't hurt your team. I mean it was a long shot for them to make the playoffs this year in the crowded West but fuck! Have better judgement.

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October 11, 2008

NFL Winners & Losers: Week 6

Ravens @ Colts
I've been giving the Colts the benefit of the doubt all season, but the bottom line is they just don't look good this year. If they struggled with the Texans and a back-up QB, the Ravens should give them big problems. At the same time, the Ravens offense is very suspect as well so I'm gonna go with the Colts one last time. Plus, they're winless at home this year and I doubt they're gona fall to 0-3 in their new home. If they do I'm sure they'll start making plans to resurrect the RCA Dome lol.

Bears @ Falcons
If Kyle Orton can play like he did last week I don't think the Falcons have a chance. If he doesn't, they still have a awesome defense so I'll take the Bears.

Lions @ Vikings
The Vikings look terrible and if it wasn't for Martin Gramatica they would've lost on Monday. With that being said, the Lions look even worse! Plus, Kitna isn't playing. Vikings all day.

Raiders @ Saints
The Saints finally got rid of Gramatica... okay they didn't get rid of him, but after costing them another game they should have lol. He's on IR for the remainer of the season so I'm going with New Orleans

Bengals @ Jets
The Bengals don't suck as bad as everyone thinks they do, I promise, but I'll take Favre over Ryan Fitzgerald any day.

Panthers @ Buccaneers
Jeff Garcia is back in the driver seat for the Bucs and he has something to prove so I'm gonna rock with them in a slim victory over the Panthers.

Rams @ Redskins
If they Rams beat the Redskins I'm gonna laugh, laugh, laugh! I doubt they will, but if they do, I'm gonna fall-the-fuck-out! lol.

Dolphins @ Texans
This is a tough one! The Texans are angry and are poised for their first win of the season, but Dolphins have looked great in their last 2 games. It all depends on well the Houston can defend that Ronnie Brown and that wild cat offense...and I'm sure keeping Sage Rosenfels on the sideline so he can't go all U.S. Track and Field again might help lol. My gut is telling me to pick the Dolphins so my gut I shall follow.

Jaguars @ Broncos
This should be a good game, but I don't think the Broncos' defense is ready to see Taylor and Jones-Drew. That one to punch will likely next Denver out so I'm going with the Jags.

Eagles @ 49ers
Generally, after Donovan McNabb comes out with a statement about how poorly the Eagles play, they win. For that reason, I'm going with Philly.

Packers @ Seahawks
I still don't know how healthy Aaron Rodgers is, but he's gotta be more healthy than he was last week when he threw for 300 yards and that's a good thing for the Pack. Couple that with Hasselbeck being out this week and I think the Packers get back in the win column.

Cowboys @ Cardinals
This game isn't gonna be as easy as some might assume, the Cardinals' passing game is strong and the Cowboys' secondary is weak. Look for Warner to spread the 'Boys out and throw a bunch of bombs to Fitzgerald and Breaston. As long as Romo can avoid those costly mistakes and put up big numbers Dallas should be able to take this in a shoot out.

Patriots @ Chargers
Isn't this great?? The 2 victims of Miami's wild cat offense get to play each other! I wonder which will turn to it first?? lol. Anyway, Belichick opened up the playbook a little bit for Matt Cassel last week in San Francisco which isn't good for Patriot haters like myself, but the Chargers need this win too bad to let a Brady-less Pats team take this from them. I'm going with the Bolts.

Giants @ Browns
I saw the Giants toss the one-win Browns up in the preseason so I'm predicting this will look a lot like that game. Hmm, I wonder if anyone else noticed the Giants have played teams with a combined record of (4 of those wins coming from the Redskins)?? I doubt it because how else could you explain the Cowboys beating the Bengals by 9 as "barely" winning and the Giants beating them by 3 in overtime as a "strong" win??

Last Week Record: 7-6
Overall Record: 7-6

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October 09, 2008

Thursday Billboard Update - 10/9/08

The only thing that matters this week on Billboard is T.I.! T.I., T.I., T.I.! He dominated the competition on the Billboard 200 and is crushing everybody on the Hot 100...but first, the Billboard 200:

Tip's latest album Paper Trail debuts at #1 moving 568,000 in its first week in stores. That total is the 3rd highest of 2008 behind only Lil Wayne and Coldplay. Right under T.I. is Jennifer Hudson and her self-titled debut which came in at #2 with 217,000 sold. That's damn good because if I did TWIF last week I wouldn't have guessed anything over 120k lol. But wait, there's more! My dude Robin Thicke comes in at #3 with his 3rd album Something Else which sold 137,000 in its first week. Needless to say, that the his highest debut. Finally, this week's top 10 casualties are Young Jeezy, the Pussycat Dolls, Joe, Jonas Brothers, Kings Of Leon, and Demi Lovato.

Finally, change has come! To the Hot 100 that is, change for the country comes next month. Anyway, T.I. broke his own fuckin' record as his 2nd single, Live Your Life featuring Rihanna, jumped from #80 last week to #1 this week. If you remember, just 6 weeks ago the incredibly dull Whatever You Like broke Maroon 5's record by jumping 71-1. Well, Mr. Harris broke that (too bad neither are particularly good songs and the album was pretty average lol).

first week debuts in bold

1. T.I. - Paper Trail (1)
2. Jennifer Hudson - Jennifer Hudson (2)
3. Robin Thicke - Something Else (3)
4. James Taylor - Covers (4)
5. Metallica - Death Magnetic (1-5)
6. Ne-Yo - Year Of The Gentleman (3-6)
7. Kid Rock - Rock N Roll Jesus (7-7)
8. Jack Mannequin - The Glass Passenger (8)
9. Kellie Pickler - Kellie Pickler (9)
10. Jazmine Sullivan - Fearless (6-10)

  • You might of heard a lot from this artist on MTV since he was recently the artist of the week for 2 weeks. Anyway, Murs' new album Murs For President came in at #43 with 12,600 sold.
  • Down at #95 is Big Kuntry King whose first album, My Turn To Eat, sold 6,100. Don't ask me why T.I. chose to put his album out the same day as his own, but whatever. Hey, did you see the album cover for this shit?? That shit is corny as fuck lol.
  • Even further down is Dem Franchize Boyz' new album Our World Our Way at #115 with 5,200 sold.

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10

first week debuts in bold

1. T.I. - Live Your Life (80-1)
2. T.I. - Whatever You Like (1-2)
3. Pink - So What (2-3)
4. Rihanna - Disturbia (4-4)
5. Kevin Rudolf - Let It Rock (15-5)
6. Katy Perry - Hot N Cold (6-6)
7. Christina Aguilera - Keeps Gettin' Better (7)
8. T-Pain - Can't Believe It (7-8)
9. M.I.A. - Paper Planes (5-9)
10. Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody (10)

  • Pitbull's new track Krazy featuring Lil Jon jumps 30 spots 63-33.

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October 08, 2008

Obama/Biden 3, McCain/Palin 0

I don't have to go into it, but Obama won... again. The results of a post debate CNN poll says Barack won 54% to 30%. That's 24 points!

On some real shit though, am I the only one who kinda feels bad for McCain?? Seriously, all jokes aside, am I the only one?? I don't know, it seems like Obama is running his campaign while McCain's campaign is running him. You can tell he doesn't wanna attack Barack, but his campaign is going in full force. Example: I just flipped it off Fox News and across the screen I saw, "Breaking News: McCain campaign slams Obama on Ayers connection." That was shortly after 12am, the debate ended around 10:30pm and they're already trying to move away from Obama's victory in the debate and back to attacks (oh, and yes Fox News IS apart of the McCain campaign). And BTW, I just flipped it back around 12:30am and they were talking about some group called Acorn filling out voter registeration forms as Dallas Cowboy players like Tony Romo and Terrell Owens lol. The shit is sad.

Whatever, like I said I just feel bad for him because it seems like he has lost control of his campaign and is just being told what to do.

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October 06, 2008

Jay-Z Miami Obama Concert Review

Here's a quick recap of the going ons of the Jay-Z concert in Miami yesterday sent to me by my boy Joel (my homie I gave my ticket to).

My bad man my phone is completely dead and my charger doesnt work. i need a new battery or something but Man that shit was amazing and alot better than the one I went to in the begining of the year. The shit didnt actually strat until like 8ish. But the anticipation was enuff to keep ppl calm.

First wyclef came out there and he had strong energy in the begining. he started freestyling in different languages (haitian, spanish, etc) wich was pretty hot and he came with sum hard punch lines and shit then he started singing alot of Bob Marley songs 4 sum odd reason. then he brought pitbull out for litterally 2 minutes (NO EXAGGERATION LOL) Then he brought out his ll sister to sing. He gradually started loosing momentum around this point AND PPL STARTED CHANTING HOVA HOVA HOVA......but none the less thats wyclef so he did his thing. Then they made us wait a lil over an hour for HOV to come out (they had to set his stage up and shit)


HE RIPPED IT!!!! FROM OPENING TO CLOSE. He came out to that "SAY HELLO" and he performed hit after hit after hit after hit after hit after hit ..... u get the point lol. he had the screen display a picture of george bush @ the end of blue magic and every single person white, black, yellow, brown said FUCK BUSH (it was the funniest shit every lol VERY DISRESPECTFUL!!!) similar to what im sure u hae seen on youtube b4. then he did that accapella "Minority Report". He left the stage after performing more hits and the crowd was chanting HOVA, HOVA, HOVA and came back out. He went to the dj and was litterally scrolling thru the rest of the HITS he didnt perform asking us what we wanted to hear. He'll play the intro to each song kinda like teasing us or something. every intro the crowd would go crazy and then he'd abrutly switch to the next song to kinda prove his catalog to us. He then switched to "ENCORE" and closed out the show. The best show Ive ever been to. Whats so amazing to see aside from the actual performance is how diverse the crowd was. Everyone from ghetto thugs ass niggas to white prep boys from middle aged white women to arabs with turbans on there heads (NO OFFENSE ITS ALL GOOD LOL). Everyone was taking pics with everyone and everyone knew the words except this cute girl next to me who was kinda fuckin up every now and then but even she was reciting lines that u would only know if u bought the actual albumn.

Unfortunatley he didnt perform any "NEW" stuff from BP3 besides jOCKIN JAYZ AND SWAGGER LIKE US and besides bleek he didnt bring anyone out but who cares its the roc and HOV. all in all it was a peaceful and positive event and i got more than what i paid for (CUZ IT WAS FREE LOL) excuse my typing and any mispelled words im at work and im not supposed to be on facebook.

-JOEL M.


Sounds like a missed a great one. Damn, damn damn!

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October 04, 2008

Top 30 31 Hip-Hop Songs VH1 Left Off Their List

It really didn't take that long to compile this list, but I dunno I just felt like being lazy on this lovely rainy day lol. Okay, on with the list! Oh, and no they aren't in any particular order, I just wrote them down as I thought of them and put numbers next to them so I could count how many I had. And feel free to add on in the comments if you want. Okay, okay, on with the list...for real this time lol.

1. Dr. Dre - Dre Day
2. Notorious B.I.G. Feat. Ma$e & Puff Daddy - Mo' Money Mo' Problems
3. N.W.A. - Express Yourself
4. Tupac - Hit 'Em Up
5. Juvenile - Ha
6. B.G. - Bling Bling
7. Jay-Z Feat. UGK - Big Pimpin'
8. Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
9. Busta Rhymes - Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See
10. Kanye West - Jesus Walks
11. OutKast - Rosa Parks
12. Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg - Deep Cover
13. Nas Feat. Lauryn Hill - If I Ruled The World
14. Onyx - Slam
15. Notorious B.I.G. - One More Chance
16. Tupac - Dear Mama
17. Tupac Feat. Dr. Dre - California Love
18. Will Smith - Gettin' Jiggy Wit It
19. Tupac - Hail Mary
20. Jim Jones - We Fly High
21. Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Pt. II
22. M.O.P - Ante Up
23. Clipse - Grindin'
24. Nas - Ether
25. Jay-Z - Takeover
26. Nas - One Mic
27. Kriss Kross - Jump
28. Da Brat - Funkdafied
29. Scarface - I Seen A Man Die
30. A Tribe Called Quest Feat. Leaders Of The New School - Scenario

I guess I can't fault VH1 for forgetting it since I did too, but with out further ado I give you:

31. Craig Mack - Flava In Ya Ear (Remix)

Now, I know all of these songs couldn't fit in the top 100, but I think any of these songs would've been better selections than Tha Block Is Hot, Ridin', Hot N Herre, etc.

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Last Chance For Change: Jay-Z Adds Additional Free Miami Concert Monday

That's right, if you missed your chance to get tickets for Sunday's show, Jay-Z has your back! Hov has graciously decided to stay in SoFlo another day and put on another free concert in support of Barack Obama Monday. If you don't live in Florida you probably don't know this, but Monday (Oct. 6th) is the last day for Florida residents to register to vote, hence the title "Last Chance For Change" lol.

Unfortunately the show is at 12:30 PM (I have to be at work by 12 and all my friends will be either at school or work) so I probably won't be able to make it... again! Yes, I said again because I gave my ticket to Sunday's show to my homeboy Joel after none of the rest of the people I was planning on going with got tickets. Joel's girl got one so hell why not let the happy couple be together?? Exactly! Plus, finding a girl who's as into Jay-Z as you is rare so I just had to lol. Oh yeah, and if you're one of those lucky people who got tickets to Sunday's show, like my homie and his ol' lady, you'll also get a chance to see Wyclef perform as well. "If I was the president..." lol.

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