Conan Rocks The Jeggings

Hilarious! This is the only appropriate situation where any man should ever be wearing some fucking jeggings. In fact, I propose we get together a small army and force any seller of jeggings to put a warning label on them that reads: "Jeggings are for women ONLY, unless used for comedic purposes." It's only right. (Side note: I was gonna put "...for women and gay men ONLY..." but then I realized guys would have to prove they're gay to get them, so scratch that.)

Speaking of jeggings, I was on Twitter last night (no shit, right?) and my homegirl tweeted out a picture of her "trying on some jeggings." That was all fine and dandy until I thought to myself: "Self, those pants are tight as Asian eyelids, how could stores allow people to try them on and still have the option to not buy them??" Seriously, isn't that unsanitary?? The way those things hug the fuck out of assholes and vaginas, it's basically equivalent to a chick trying on some pantyhose and then putting them back on the self. Gross. And then think about if dudes try them on with their stinky, hairy man ass. That's just disgusting.

Matter of fact, let's just add something about not being allowed to try them on without buying them first to that warning label I mentioned above. Oh, and I'm definitely not oppose to having jeggings only sold in those L'eggs egg pantyhose containers your mom and/or grandma used to have back in the day.