1) Jets (9-2) @ Patriots (9-2)
The "Male Model/Don't Leave Ya Girl 'Round Me" Bowl
I have no idea who is gonna win this game. I mean none whatsoever. I guess common logic would say the Pats will win because the Jets struggled to put away a few sub-.500 teams, but the last time I tried to pull that kinda logic on them they rode it all the way to the AFC Championship. Screw it, I'll take the Gang Green. Jets winners, Pats losers.
2) Steelers (8-3) @ Ravens (8-3)
The "Game Most Likely To End Early Due To A Fatally" Bowl
Fuck what I originally wrote, Ben Roethlisberger has a broken bone in his foot, I'm taking the Ravens all the way. Ravens winners, Steelers losers.
3) Falcons (9-2) @ Buccaneers (7-4)
The "I Know You're Heavy On The Gays, But Stop Fucking Me Atlanta!" Bowl
I keep betting against the Falcons and losing, but here's the deal this week: the Bucs could find themselves on the outside looking in in the playoff picture unless they can get a win. I think they will. Buccaneers winners, Falcons losers.
4) Cowboys (3-8) @ Colts (6-5)
The "Damn, This Game Seemed Like It'd Be So Much More Awesome Before The Season" Bowl
Operation "Get A Top Draft Pick" continues this week in Indianapolis. The Colts are NOT gonna lose 3 games straight. Colts winners, Cowboys losers.
(Side note: I know I said I wanted to lose last week, but man, fuckin' Roy Williams. Sigh.)
5) Redskins (5-6) @ Giants (7-4)
The "Redskins Ain't Shit" Bowl
The Giants are banged up, but the Redskins suck. Giants winners, Redskins losers.
(Side note: Hey Coughlin, put Bradshaw back in the starting lineup! My fantasy team just lost Frank Gore and I need that fumbling fucker. Make it happen!)
6) Raiders (5-6) @ Chargers (6-5)
The "San Diego Has A Better Change Of Having A Snow Storm Than Losing This Game" Bowl
I'm not sure when the Chargers will lose again, but I'm positive it won't be in Week 13. Chargers winners, Raiders losers.
7) Texans (5-6) @ Eagles (7-4)
The "Back To Life, Back To Reality" Bowl
Back to earth for the Texans this week. Eagles winners, Texans losers.
8) Jaguars (6-5) @ Titans (5-6)
The "I'm Totally Changing My Pick If Kerry Collins Plays, I'm Just Letting You Know Now" Bowl
FAU legend and Pride of Boca Raton Rusty Smith had a tough first NFL start. I'm not sure if he'll ever start again in the NFL, but we're both Owls and by golly we're gonna stick together! Jaguars winners, Titans losers.
9) Browns (4-7) @ Dolphins (6-5)
The "Heat-Cavaliers Under Card" Bowl
How ironic is it the Browns and Dolphins play each other the same week the Heat and Cavaliers do. No real point to this statement, just thought it was interesting.
Anyway, the Dolphins and Browns were two of the teams that fucked me the most last week with me making my picks Tuesday instead of Thursday or Friday. I had no idea Chad Henne was going to play, and as we saw against the Bears, it makes a big difference when Tyler Thigpen is out there and Henne is not. I also had no idea Colt McCoy was injured and would be replaced by Jake Delhomme so he could throw INTs to his former team for a change.
It also messed me up in fantasy football because I benched Fantasy Stud Dan Carpenter assuming he wouldn't get any attempts with Thigpen's inability to gain positive yardage. Oh well, at least I had Fantasy Stud Peyton Hillis. Dolphins winners, Browns losers.
10) 49ers (4-7) @ Packers (7-4)
The "Too Bad This Isn't 1998" Bowl
Tough break for the Niners losing Frank Gore again. I know Brian Westbrook had a great game Monday, but what happens when he suffers his inevitable injury?? What are their options, call up Glen Coffee?? Packers winners, 49ers losers.
11) Bills (2-9) @ Vikings (4-7)
The "Thank Goodness Brett Favre Is Finally Not In The News" Bowl
Yo, what in the fuck is wrong with this nigga Stevie Johnson?? He was already a weird son of a bitch, but then he blames God for not letting him catch the game winning touchdown?? I'm not gonna lie, that shit was funny as hell (especially when read by white commentator and hosts), but it just further backed up my point about how black dudes with mohawks are the devil. Vikings winners, Bills losers.
12) Saints (8-3) @ Bengals (2-9)
The "How Aren't The Saints 7-4 Coming Into This Game? Damn You Roy Williams!" Bowl
I was going to try to make a case for the Bengals to make this competitive, but I can't. Saints winners, Bengals losers.
13) Bears (8-3) @ Lions (2-9)
The "NFL Should Just Award This Game To Detroit For Fucking Them In Week 1" Bowl
When the Bears win this game I guess you can say they swept the season series, only they didn't actually win the first game in Week 1. Bears winners, Lions losers.
14) Broncos (3-8) @ Chiefs (7-4)
The "I'm More Interesting In Seeing What Happens With Todd Haley And Josh McDaniels After The Game Than I Am In The Game Itself" Bowl
To shake or not to shake, that is the question we all can't wait to be answered at this contest's conclusion. If I was Josh McDaniels, I'd point angrily at Todd Haley the entire game, especially if my team was winning. Fortunately for Haley the Broncos suck, and this game in Arrowhead, where the Chiefs look like a legit team. Chiefs winners, Broncos losers.
15) Rams (5-6) @ Cardinals (3-8)
The "I Don't Think Anything Is Funny!" Bowl
Normally I don't like the Rams on the road, but I'm almost positive the Cardinals are done winning games this year. Rams winners, Cards losers.
16) Panthers (1-10) @ Seahawks (5-6)
The "I Guess Someone Has to Win" Bowl
I thought Seattle was supposed to be an unbeatable home team?? What the fuck?? They can't lose at home in back-to-back weeks, right?? Seahawks winners, Panthers losers.
This Week: 10-6 (.625)
Overall Record: 114-78 (.594)
Last Week: 10-6 (.625)
